


Rays of Hope

by Mimm



Category: Everwood
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-18
Updated: 2016-12-18
Packaged: 2018-09-09 09:22:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,333
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8885461
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mimm/pseuds/Mimm
Summary: "I remember everything. About last 4th of July. I remember everything that happened that day."- Bright to his dad in 1x07 We Hold These Truths, while Colin was still in a comaThere was more to remember about the 4th of July than the accident and who was driving.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [clarinets (clarineta)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/clarineta/gifts).



> Clarinets, I hope this fits somewhere along the lines of what you had in mind when you made your request.

"I remember everything that happened that day."

Bright always had. The things he told his dad -- the way it had been Bright who had driven the car, not Colin, leading them into the accident that put Colin into the coma he no longer woke up from -- and the things he didn't tell him. The things he kept to himself, knowing that the only other person who knew what had happened was now lingering between life and death, unable to tell anyone anything.

It had begun with Amy the weekend before.

*

"We should have a movie night tonight."

Amy didn't address her words to anyone in specific, but she was looking at Colin from the backseat of the car, and there was the tiniest of quirks on the side of her mouth. Bright glanced at Colin and started the engine.

"Your place or mine?" Colin asked, looking over his shoulder.

"Mom and Dad are out tonight, aren't they?"

Bright looked at Amy through the rearview mirror, noticing she was looking at him.

"I think so," he said.

"And you have a date?" she continued, and Bright gave Colin another brief glance.

"I wish. Everyone's away this weekend," he said.

"I hear Tess is free," Colin said.

"Tess the Mess? Man, I don't think so. Even I have standards."

Harsh, he knew, but he had no interest in her.

"You could join us," Colin said, and Bright looked at Amy. She didn't seem happy and he knew why. He knew her well enough.

"Chick flicks aren't really my thing," he offered, which earned him a look from Colin. "Hey, it's not my fault my sister's a girl."

"We are not going to watch chick flicks," Colin said, turning towards Amy. "Right?"

"We'll watch whatever you want," she replied.

"Sweet. All the Rockys back to back," Colin said.

"Don't forget Godfather," Bright suggested, making Colin laugh. "And it's not a real date night without Rambo," he continued.

"Nice. How about some Chuck Norris? No, wait, _everything_ by Chuck Norris," Colin suggested, still laughing.

"Excellent choice."

Amy rolled her eyes, amused. The choice of movie was irrelevant and they all knew it, but they kept throwing suggestions all the way to the Harts where Amy and Colin hopped off the car, leaving Bright look behind them until they closed the door. With a sigh, he rode off.

*

Bright's arm, crossed under his head as he lay on the bed, was beginning to go numb. He moved it to rest on his stomach instead, feeling the softness of the pillow under the back of his head. His arm and hand began to tingle.

His headphones, which he was supposed to be wearing, were next to him, the occasional tinny sound coming from the cd he had put on to distract himself. It hadn't worked and he had taken the headphones off, instead listening to the occasional chuckles coming from the living room through his half-open door. He heard a man's voice and knew it wasn't Colin's. Must have been someone on tv.

Before Colin and Amy had ever been a thing, it had always been a Colin and Bright thing. They had been together since they first met as kids. After Amy had stopped being an annoying little kid and become Colin's girlfriend instead, the three of them often used to hang out together. Bright had gotten so used to having Colin around that it was difficult to let Amy have him for herself, but he did. She had good taste. He wasn't sure about Colin's taste, but if he was going to date a girl anyway, it might as well have been Bright's baby sister. Though it didn't mean it didn't hurt.

The ceiling over him wasn't any more interesting than it had been a minute ago, so he closed his eyes. He heard mumbling and imagined the two snuggling on the sofa, probably more focused on each other than the movie they tried watching. He turned on his side and stared at the wall for a moment.

There was a knock at the door.

"I'm not calling Tess," Bright said to Amy, hoping his reluctance to leave the house to her and Colin didn't annoy her too much. "I'd much rather focus on homework or pulling out my toenails and pouring gasoline on them."

"Note to self. Don't ever try hooking up Bright and Tess."

It wasn't Amy's voice but Colin's, and Bright turned on his back, looking at Colin who was standing in the doorway, leaning against the jamb with his arm raised up. His t-shirt hitched up from the side, flashing a strip of skin over the jeans.

"Did you guys choose some short indie film or something?"

"I got bored. Not enough Chuck Norris."

That didn't sound right. Colin wasn't the kind of guy who would leave his girlfriend in the middle of a movie just because he was bored. Even Bright wouldn't do that and he often got bored.

"Amy's calling your parents," Colin continued. "She's going to ask if I can stay for the night. All very decent, obviously, with you as our chaperone."

"I doubt they'll go for that," Bright said, smirking.

He hoped they would.

"She's optimistic," Colin said, looking over his shoulder, still standing by the doorway.

"You should join us," Colin continued after a while, as if it was perfectly normal to ask someone to crash their date night.

"I don't think Amy would like that," Bright replied. "Aren't you two, like, you know. Doing movie date things together."

Colin answered that with a downturned gaze and an awkward smile.

"Not to the extent you're probably imagining." He raised his gaze again. The smile was still there. "I wouldn't say it's like on a date with my Nana -- there's some nice action going on -- but you wouldn't ruin anything."

"You sure?"

"I'm sure."

Bright still wasn't sure what Amy would think, but if Colin thought it was fine, then that was all the encouragement he needed. He sat up, took his cd player that was still on autoplay and turned it off, and let it rest on his bed as he got up and followed Colin.

*

"Bright."

He could see a hint of apprehension on Amy's face before she composed herself. It only took a second at most but he knew her. Even without the expression he could tell she wasn't happy.

"Before you say anything," Colin came to his defence, "this man here was contemplating on body mutilation. I couldn't just leave him to himself."

He paused for a moment, then made an effort to appease her.

"I kept you a seat right here."

He raised his bent arm sideways, mimicking holding a person in his arms. Amy gave him a smile that almost reached her eyes, but just almost.

"What did your parents say?" Colin asked when Amy just stood there.

"Half yes, half no," Amy said, her shoulders sinking a little before she walked to them and sat down. Colin put his arm around her.

"You can stay but only if your parents let you, and only if you sleep in Bright's room."

Bright, who had been looking at the other two without offering a single comment, felt his pulse rise a little.

"I assume that's ok with you," Amy said, leaning forward to look at Bright who was sitting on the other side of Colin.

"Sure, no problem," he said, nodding. 

"Maybe you should call your parents," Amy said, putting her hand casually on Colin's thigh for a brief moment, looking up at him.

"Yeah. Be right back," he agreed, getting up, leaving Bright and Amy on their own.

On the tv, Bright could see Matt Damon with a bruised eye, riding a scooter and leaving Gwyneth Paltrow on her own. Bright didn't understand what was going on and didn't really care. He glanced at Amy who didn't seem to have anything to say to him.

*

Bright tried to pay attention to the movie but failed. The fact that he had begun watching it somewhere in the middle, probably missing the whole point the movie was trying to make, didn't help.

Instead, his focus had been glued to the fact that Colin sat next to him, his body warm, his head resting lightly on Bright's shoulder after he had made more room for Amy. Amy had pulled her feet up on the sofa, and now Colin was pressed tight against Bright and his hair smelled of shampoo and tickled Bright's cheek. He didn't seem to notice any of this.

And Bright.. Bright looked at the tv and tried to care, tried to focus better, but he kept failing. Heart pounding heavily he took a deep breath, daring himself, and pressed his cheek against Colin's hair, leaning into it, and Colin didn't move.

*

The three of them watched tv until Amy decided she wanted to go to her own room, and Colin followed her. Bright was pushed away for the second time that evening. He continued watching tv and scavenging the fridge for anything edible until his parents came home around one, suggesting the boys start making a bed for Colin. Now it was Amy's turn to be pushed away.

"If my parents ask, you were alone for half an hour max," Bright said, making Colin laugh.

"Nothing happened," he said. "At least nothing your parents should worry about."

"You do like her, don't you?" Bright asked him, earning a funny face from Colin.

"She's my girlfriend. Of course I like her."

"I was just making sure."

"She says she's not ready yet," Colin said.

"Okay, I think that's all I need to hear about that," Bright said, hoping for a change in topic. This wasn't one of his favourites. It was Amy, his sister. And Colin. No.

"You started it."

"Fair enough."

There was a brief moment of silence in the room. Colin was flipping through a pile of magazines.

"She said you're wearing stockings next week."

Bright had hoped for a sudden change in topic but this was a bit too sudden even for him. It took him a moment to understand what Colin meant by what he had said, and he remembered. Fourth of July. The ridiculous costume. His father who was so proud.

"Yeah. I hope no one there has a camera. Or a brain capable of visual memory."

"Hey, it can't be that bad."

"Come on, man. Stockings. On a guy. It's pretty bad."

"I bet you'll look great," Colin said, and Bright had to look at him to see if he was joking or being serious. Apparently a bit of both. He wasn't sure what to make of it.

"You've got to come there," he said. "For moral support."

"Sure, I'll be there."

Mostly for Amy's sake, Bright thought, but he didn't think further than that. This was how things were now. This was how they were meant to be.

Their conversations veered towards their plans for the evening after the mortification was over, and in every plan it was the three of them together. They planned the evening, then the coming summer, and all the days and nights they would get to spend together, swimming and driving around, doing little road trips and being free until school began again.

Somewhere in the middle of backpacking in Europe, Colin had taken longer and longer to form sentences, and he had fallen asleep right in front of Bright.

Now it was closer to four in the morning and Bright still hadn't fallen asleep. Next to him, on the mattress on the floor, Colin was breathing evenly, making a little huffing sound every now and then. The room was too dim for Bright to see Colin's features clearly, but he could see Colin was lying on his side, facing Bright, one arm bent in front of him, hand slipped under the pillow.

Almost close enough to touch.

*

Something tickled Bright's nose and he brushed the side of his hand against his nose. His chin tickled, too. Then his lips. He opened his eyes, and it took him a while to understand what he was seeing, so he blinked a few times. A face right above him, only a few inches away, glinting eyes peering down at him.

"Morning," Colin said, but he didn't get up.

Bright looked to his side and noticed Colin was sitting on Bright's bed, propped against one hand on the other side of Bright while hovering his other hand over Bright's face, poking at him with his index finger.

"What is wrong with you?" Bright asked, not even a hint of irritation in his voice.

"Boredom. Amy's up. Your parents are up. You're the only one still sleeping. Well, not anymore."

"I'm glad you appreciate my face but could you stop poking at it?"

"Where's the fun in that?"

Colin got up, the side of the mattress raising up, and suddenly Bright wished he could pull him back on the bed.

"Breakfast is ready," Bright heard a shout from the kitchen. His mother.

"She sent me here," Colin said. "Come on."

Rubbing his eyes, Bright could still feel the light tickle on his bottom lip where Colin's hand had just been.

"Give me a sec," he said, and Colin nodded, leaving the room, leaving Bright to collect his thoughts, completely clueless of the effect he had on other people.

*

Bright's throat burned as he took another sip from the hipflask. It still didn't taste good but it did the job. He felt lightheaded. Next to him, on the bed, was the costume he had worn a while earlier.

"Ah, sweet relief," he said, adjusting his very basic neckline of a very stretchy t-shirt. No stiff coats, no weird collars, no starch. Just the way God intended clothes to be.

"That costume suited you," Colin said from behind him.

"No it didn't. They don't suit anyone."

"I respectfully disagree," Colin said, and walked up to him and put his arm around his waist without warning.

Bright tensed up, failing to move or say anything, a million thoughts rushing through his mind. Colin was touching him, Colin was holding him, Colin was about to kiss him, Colin was...

Colin took the hipflask from Bright's hand and took a step back, taking a sip. The bottle seemed to be nearly empty.

"I need to steal something better-tasting next time," he said, apparently failing to notice what he had just done and what it did to Bright's mental state.

Bright felt extremely lucky for not blushing right then and there.

"Yeah," he said, taking his costume pieces and folding them absentmindedly on the back of a chair. His heart was still racing, and he took a few deep breaths, acting as if he was concentrating on the costume pieces, until he felt ready to turn around and face Colin.

"You're right," Colin said, looking at Bright from head to toe as if he was evaluating him. "Those jeans suit you better than stockings. I mean, I'd date you."

Bright gave out a laugh.

"Too bad I already date your sister," Colin said.

"Right."

"Can't date you both."

"I suppose so."

"Yeah. We'd better go. We haven't got all day," Colin said, offering the hipflask to Bright. "Take the rest."

*

They stood next to the truck and Colin jiggled the keys in his hand, leaning his back against the side window. He looked like he had something on his mind but wasn't sure how to say it.

"She said she loved me," he finally said, and he looked serious. "Your sister. I didn't say it back."

"Oh. Tough one."

"Yeah."

Bright didn't feel comfortable talking about his sister like this but his head was buzzing lightly and he couldn't find a way out of the conversation, so he just nodded.

"So. Do you?"

"What?"

"Love her."

Colin seemed to consider his question for a long time.

"I guess. It's complicated."

"How so?"

"Just is."

It didn't seem like Bright's place to be nosey so he stayed silent, letting Colin decide what to say next.

"I want it to be the three of us," Colin finally said, and Bright couldn't follow his train of thought. "I'm not ready to commit to just one."

What was he saying?

"Don't get me wrong, it's great having a girlfriend," Colin continued, "but I want to hang out with all my friends."

Friends. Of course.

"Doesn't mean you can't. You know, even if you love her and tell her."

Colin just looked at him without a word.

"I mean I'll still be here no matter what. Buddies for life."

Colin gave him a wide grin. His cheeks were blushed. Or maybe it was a reflection from his red shirt. Bright wasn't sure.

"Buddies for life. I like that."

And then Colin grabbed Bright by his shirt, pulling him close so fast he was about to lose his balance, and gave him a quick kiss on the mouth. It tasted of liquor with a vague hint of a breathmint. It was nothing like what Bright had imagined it to feel like.

Colin let him go and started laughing, then stopped and looked at Bright, putting a hand on his mouth as if he had only now realized what it was that he had done.

"I didn't mean to do that," he said, letting out a half giggle.

"It's okay, I don't mind," Bright said, trying not to stammer.

"Let's get going," Colin said, opening the door and sitting down on the driver's seat.

Bright, unsure of what the best move would be, walked to the other side of the truck and opened the door. He looked at Colin, trying to read his expression, trying to see if he was upset or angry, but mostly he looked amused. Bright sat down on the seat and pulled the door closed with a sharp thud.

"I like you," Colin said, and he looked at Bright.

"I like you, too," Bright said.

"Not like that," Colin tried again.

"Ah."

"Is that a problem?"

"Nope," Bright said. He wasn't sure he was hearing what he thought he was hearing.

"Good," Colin said with a smile, starting the engine and driving off the driveway.

Bright's heart was pounding the whole way and he felt like he would burst out laughing any minute now. Or possibly throw up. He wasn't sure. All he knew was that something needed to get out of his chest.

Colin stopped the car, letting the engine run. They were here. Time to drive carefree and without constraints.

"I kinda like you, too," Bright said, glancing at Colin.

Colin gave him a puzzled look, then when the realization came he started smiling that wide smile of his that Bright enjoyed so much.

"I have for a while," Bright continued, now smiling too. "A long while. I think probably forever."

Colin leaned his head against the neck rest of his seat, hands on steering wheel.

"Really?"

Bright nodded.

Before they could continue, a truck drove by next to them.

"Let's go, then," Colin said with a grin, and pressed the pedal, dirt flying behind them.

This was the best day ever, Bright thought.

*

"I remember everything that happened that day."

He always had. The accident. That it was him who lost the control of that truck. He remembered the tragic things, and he remembered the days before the accident, and he remembered the feeling of perfect joy he had felt those brief moments between Colin's kiss and the flight through air before everything stopped.

Now there was no one to share them with. Amy would never talk to him if he told her, and Colin was barely even alive. So Bright kept them to himself, hoping that one day Colin would get better and wake up, and Bright would have his best friend back, and they could share their old memories and make many new ones. Just the two of them.


End file.
